The path I do not want to be on

I’ve been thinking a lot about the different paths we take in life. Some we choose, some we don’t, some are unexpected. It’s crazy how fast your life can change – good and bad.

A little over 2 weeks ago I hit my head pretty hard. I didn’t realize it at the time but it was more than just a bump on the head. My life has changed so much since. The path of concussion or possible TBI and whiplash is not one I ever thought I’d be walking. But here I am. Walking into the unknown on a daily basis. Every day is different. I wake up to new or worsening symptoms. Sometimes I wake up feeling decent. It changes throughout the day and for someone who thrives with routine, does not like surprises, enjoys being outdoors and active this new path is my arch enemy.

I feel trapped in a body that isn’t functioning correctly. My mind is there, but my brain feels delayed or stuck sometimes. My vision is awful especially with motion and fluorescent lights. Guess I needed a > 3 minute trip inside Target to prove that was a terrible idea. Even though Cowboy tried to talk me out of it ha! Thankfully acupuncture helped a lot with natural light sensitivity so I can be outside! I can’t do much more than an easy walk but I can be outside and that makes my heart very happy.

I don’t want to be on this path, but I have the best, most supportive people walking it alongside me. They are not walking ahead or behind. They are beside me. They have all gone down this path either themselves or helped many others. When the unknown or symptoms send my anxiety into a tailspin I feel so helpless. I pray and lean into their support & expertise. I have no idea what I’d do without them.💕

So while I may be spending more time in bed than anywhere else, I have hope this is temporary. And hey, if you have to be in bed, this is the best time of year for it. Cozy blankets, Christmas movies (more for background noise), watching Cowboy get older 😜, Bam snuggles, shopping for Christmas, groceries online….just taking life easy.

If you have any tips/encouragement/experience with concussions, please leave them below.

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