It was a mistake?

I’m sitting in bed with a hot tea, listening to Christmas music with Bam at Oasis RV Park in Las Vegas, NV.

Teavana Earl Grey tea from Starbucks + Agave

It’s been a little over 90 days since we sold everything and left Monterey, CA and I wanted to share some thoughts about it.

I have always been honest and real with you guys, and this is no different, but it sure ain’t easy to admit when you think you’ve made a mistake….honestly, this lifestyle is not for me.

I thrive in familiar daily life, like opening the windows to let the morning light in, and seeing trees and flowers we picked out & planted together. Hearing birds starting their day. I miss friends and family being nearby. My 3 mile walking loop to get a hot tea at Starbucks midway. The Target I know exactly where everything is. Heck just knowing where Target is without using Google Maps ha! My safety net of medical providers. Having my own vehicle…..having a freaking Christmas tree…..the stability of having an actual home. There are more, but those are the main things that I feel so lost without.

I feel like the life has been sucked right out of me. Like a dormant plant in the middle of winter that needs a little water and sunshine to bring it back to life. But Bam just peed on it sooooo 🤷🏼‍♀️

Where do we go from here? That is the question we keep asking ourselves. We don’t have answers right now and maybe I just need to accept that for now?

Describing the sunset to Bam like the good ole days on a beach in Biloxi, MI

We don’t want to rush into buying a home and ending up regretting it, but I’m not sure how much longer I can live in limbo. I’ve been doing this since May when this whole adventure started. I figured I’d be more adaptable than this, but turns out I’m just not.

There are a some positive things I have learned about this and one is that I actually don’t mind living tiny. It forces me to be very intentional when we shop. Also we saw so many things {like a bald eagle in the wild!} had we not ventured out.

I know there are so many others struggling with far worse things in life and in comparison, this isn’t a terrible situation. But it’s my struggle and I’m learning it’s okay to allow myself to feel it freely. Also it’s important to note I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m just being real.

In the meantime, I’m going to do my best to live and enjoy each day. Today I’m feeling like I need some nature therapy. Oh funny side story: Yesterday I told Mike how a massage sounds sooooo lovely right now. He said book it, so I did a Google search and somehow ended up booking a full spa day for Bam instead. Ha! So I think we’ll grab lunch and on a hike while he’s getting all handsome and stuff.

Christmas 2019

Anyway, we don’t have answers, but we are heading back to California to celebrate Christmas with our family and that definitely makes me happy. Maybe we’ll get a Christmas miracle this year? Or maybe Newsom can cash me outside. How bow dat.

If you could or wanted to move anywhere in the US where would you go? Why?

5 comments

  1. So sorry to hear you are not loving it. In the end it will be a great experience you can look back on. “We never regret the things that we have done, only those that we didn’t” you can go back to a “normal” life and not have to wonder what if 🙂

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  2. Oh sweetie I am sorry you are feeling down. But was it really a mistake? Or is it a stepping stone to something new? We never know what the other side looks like unless we are brave like you and take the risk. Had you not done this adventure you would be in California unhappy with the current situation and dreaming about traveling. I can completely respect and understand your situation of thriving on familiar things. Routine is my love language. But sometimes unbeknownst to us we grow immensely once we step out of those securities and that very familiar routine. I know God has a plan for you guys and I’m still super excited to watch it unfold!

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